imaginarycircus

re: subject? I'm looking at you Things Not Working ... After You've Given Them A Good Thumping but secretly No Alcohol Lager.

Two days of sun in June is dumb. 60 degrees and rainy on July first is even dumber. I hold no truck with this weather.

I went ahead and uploaded the last draft with a note about the rewrite today. /cryptic I think it was a good exercise for me to sleep on it instead of haring off and doing something rash.

I woke up writing a story about thieves hiding their stuff in a place that is governed by the laws of math rather than the laws of physics. This delights me more than I can say.

Meditation tonight. I'm hoping it will help me release some tension and relax. I feel awful today because I had an epic IBS attack yesterday. I'm always crampy and stabby in my innards the next day. Does anyone else get that? I know there are a bunch of you with IBS on my flist. :/

So the Lama who was great last week could not make this evening's meditation group and her replacement was kind of terrible. He's obviously a very well meaning Buddhist type. Crunchy looking 60 something white guy. But I got a bad vibe off him when I watched him park his car, which is random--I know. But he kept moving it and then hurrying back to get something. It made me anxious.

His voice was grating. And very little he said made sense to me. It was totally advanced meditation stuff and I am not a Buddhist. So I let my brain do what it wanted and several times I had to bite my lip/tongue to keep from laughing. It wasn't relaxing and I hope he never leads the class again. I felt physically awful today and I was really hoping the class would relax me and I would feel better. It helped a lot last week. No luck this week.

Then the dude started talking about "benefactors" and their unconditional love for you and that love radiating through you from behind, which just sounded dirty. I totally misheard something he said and thought it was "Imagine the Prince of Darkness standing behind you and radiating unconditional love through you" and eviscerating you.

Then I wondered what would happen if I got up and ran around the room shrieking, "LA LA LA LA SATAN LOVES ME!" Or maybe I could have faked a seizure. Sometimes when I have to say nothing in a situation I find annoying I think of doing very inappropriate things I could do and I feel better. Also during the discussion breaks people kept thanking him and saying weird shit in a quietly reverent voice like, " While you were talking I saw my aunt and then a Vestal virgin. They held me. Thank you."

Oh and they do a lot of yoga classes, but the rooms all have that kind of brown industrial carpet you find in schools and the entire place smells like sweaty corn chips.