imaginarycircus

I love when I get emails from sanctimonious asshats who are going to pray for me and my aborted fetus. I love it so much. See the flame of love coming out of my eye? (see icon) Especially when her suggestion is if you don't want babies "to keep your legs shut."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IDIOTS! If only all the women who have been raped had only known to keep their legs shut. Where was this mega-genius all these years? Or people like me who got to be the 1 in 100,000 women who still manage to get knocked up on the pill. I was 19. My mother was dying. My boyfriend was an abusive dickhead. Gee, I can see now that that would have been a great time to have a kid. Especially since my mother would have insisted I keep the child and would have emotionally blackmailed and guilted me into not giving the kid up for adoption. I probably wouldn't have finished college. I might even have married the abusive dickhead, which is what he wanted. My life would have been great. I'd probably have killed myself by now.

Seven years ago this evening David showed up at my apartment in Central wearing a blinding safety yellow coat to take me out on our first date. He just IMd me from work to ask me out for dinner and this was our conversation:

me: Where would we go?
David: To france on my cheek hair*
me: Its not long enough, dude. And it is like 11pm in Paris
David: Yeah, I guess. How about LA Burticks? I'm feeling much better and could use some chocolate. STAT
me: Plus they are big on butter and cream in Paris. You want to eat dinner at Burdicks?
David: I don't lick dicks I like ticks. lol like lick = like
me: OMG
David: Bur dicks
me: LOLing forever. are you high? or drunk?
David: Just feeling a little better after a long week. a weak week of weakness

* He has this one funny cheek hair in the middle of his cheekbone that is fair away from his other facial hair and sometimes he forgets to shave it. He once told me he was planning to grow it long enough so we could swing to France on it. He is occasionally ridiculous, but a normal man would never have married me. :D

Also I just got off the phone with my aunt in Paris.