imaginarycircus

I spoke to my father last night. Nothing is resolved, but at least I know he is prepared for us maybe not coming for Christmas. The whole thing is making me anxious and depressed. I don't like not knowing what to do or what I want to do. I wonder what it is that makes me so anxious? Why can't I sit with possibilities? Why do I need to KNOW? Perhaps the simple answer is that I have ADD (with hyperfocus) and leaving something open ended with many possible choices is just too much for me to process. Whatever happens I will be with David and that's the important thing.

I'm working slowly, but working. I have this weird worry that my story is too mundane and not whimsical or magical enough. :/

I woke up with my left eye burning and swollen and very red. This happens to me sometimes when I sleep really hard--probably with my eye a little bit open. I bought some eye drops and I think it's improving.

We've finalized dinner plans for my mother-in-law's birthday dinner tomorrow. We'll be having roast chicken (with lemon and rosemary), roasted garlic mashed potatoes, and roasted root vegetables like carrots and beets and things. She chose the lavender and vanilla bean creme brulee.