imaginarycircus

I've seen the cancer meme floating about. People are posting two pre-written lines in their LJS if they've had or known anyone with cancer. My initial reaction was "Hell, no." Meaning--I won't be posting that.

My reaction is mine alone and I'm not passing judgment on other people for posting or not posting the meme. Please believe that. I just couldn't repost it. That statement was wholly impersonal and my father died thirty five years ago yesterday from cancer. That's most of my life. That's wholly personal. My mother has been dead for over thirteen years. My brother-in-law is battling stage 4 glioblastoma right now. Both my grandmothers had cancer, but one lived to be 80 and the other is currently a survivor and turning 91. There are a lot more cancer victims in my extended family, but I wasn't close to them.

I am not fishing for sympathy here. I worry about these posts--that it may seem like please pity me. I know I am incredibly lucky. I have David and my step parents who are generous and wonderful ARE my family. My in-laws (all four of them) are sweet and kind. I have a lot of things to be thankful for.

But cancer is something I hate so much I can't even put it into words. Tomorrow I have my second round of genetic testing at Dana-Farber to see if I have an MEN1 marker. I'll find out tomorrow what a positive test result will mean--risk wise. I'm far less worried about this than the breast and ovarian cancer markers, which I am still so RELIEVED I do not have.

I know so many of you have also had holes ripped in your lives by cancer and I like the idea behind posting and keeping those holes visible so that more time and money goes into finding better treatments, preventions, and if possible, a cure. I want to hear your stories.

eta: relevant cat and girl comic LOL