imaginarycircus

I'm starting to cave under the weight of things I haven't done yet this year, especially for the holidays. So I am giving myself permission to just let go and not do some things this year.

I will send my m-i-l and David's grandmother Hannukkah cards this year, but I am not going to bake them rugelach. Maybe I can send them some chocolate? IDK. But I need to send the cards tonight or Hannukkah will be over.

I'm not sending any Christmas/Holiday cards this year. To anyone.

I'm not baking holiday cookies, unless I get inspired to make a batch of hand iced gingerbread snowflakes close to Christmas.

I'm doing minimal decorating. I'm not buying much in the way of presents. I don't want anything. Bleh.

I'm really struggling just to get enough sleep and get up and be awake each day. I am, however, writing like a demon. That's the only thing I can say I'm doing. I'm panicked about finishing my Yuletide fic and being able to clean it up. But at least I'm in the second part of two parts now. But what I am writing feels highly sketched out in places and may need to be replaced with actual scenes that are "in scene." We'll see.

My skin is still bad. I am now putting off taking showers as long as I possibly can and this is depressing because I like to shower. I like to have clean hair. My hair doesn't look nice unless it's been washed that day. Curls. They are temperamental. I think other people have curls who can last a day or two, but mine just get tangle and horrible and the only cure is washing them and letting them dry again. (It might be because I have very fine hair--I just have a lot of it.) So I showered today and it hurt and then I moisturized with four coats of borage extra dry skin therapy and almond oil. Yes. I had to put on multiple coats of oil! And even then my skin still hurts and prickles and itches. The eczema under my eye is sore today and very pink. Behind my ears is not so bad for a change. And there are other unhappy areas I am not telling you about. You're welcome.

I don't have to do all these things I normally do. It's OK not to do them this year. I'm just not well enough and I don't have the energy or the spoons.